New Year's Resolutions

Everyone makes them and some hold up while others don't have a chance! Well, I want to share mine. I plan on trying to hold up each one of mine to the best of my ability, but we will see! Let me lay them out for you so maybe you can help me!
1. Get back to working out.  This is the most common New Years resolution, but I HAVE to make it mine. I remember getting the best compliment ever at Sarah Blinds house that i looked great after having 2 kids and now I am ashamed how I look. Stress and alcohol have played a big part and I will not lie about that! I was stressed before, but I know that exercising helped to ease a lot of that, so I need to get back to it!  Anyone willing to help motivate me would be greatly appreciated!
2. Be nicer. I try and I try but I think some times my meds aren't working! LOL! I cant help how bad people get on my nerves and I need to not care and not let it bother me.  In the BIG picture, it doesn't matter!
3. Be a better mother. I have been so depressed lately because my babies are growing up. I get stressed by them A LOT, but I would totally have another one if it wasn't for the fact that it is expensive! Kenny and I make decent money and having 2 kids in daycare has wiped us out! If we had another, someone would have to quit their job and that would be Kenny since I make more than him and carry the insurance.  Could you imagine Kenny as a stay at home dad? Holy crap!
4. Say less cuss words. Sorry but that comes with the stress. *uck...maybe yoga would fix a lot for me!
5.Drink less. Drinking has added to my weight gain. Less liquor, less pounds!

Thanks for listening everyone!  Love ya! Happy New Year and make sure your hopes and wishes come true!

The Christmas Craze!

Buy, wrap, buy, wrap. Give, receive, give receive. Mess! Excitement! Exhaustion! Sadness!Regret! All of these things are a part of the Christmas craze! One thing or another has left you feeling one of these things! I love the holidays and Christmas with my kids is one of the best things ever! I finally felt the feeling that I did when I was once a kid, and it is something I dont ever want to lose. That is why I feel excitement and sadness at the same time. I told Kenny this morning that it was going to be an emotional day. He was worried that I was pregnent, but it was just because I am an emotional person and at  Christmas I get overwhelmed with happiness.  It was so funny how freaked out Kenny was about having a 3rd baby. He made me take a prego test, didnt believe it so I had to quit drinking and quit smoking until aunt flo visited last night. So funny! He was worried he would have to put up with me for another 18 years instead of 15! 
Anyway....Christmas time brings about so many different feelings and most are good. I hope if this is your first Christmas dealing with a loss, you find comfort in your other family and friends that are still here for you. Buying gifts and traveling from place to place is crazy, but would it really feel like Christmas if we werent doing these things?  Wake up, shower, drive, open gifts, go home, wake up, showe, drive, open gifts, go home. wake up,  open gifts, shower, drive, open gifts, visit, leave, open gifts, eat, leave. That was our past three days. Crazy?  Yes. But I wouldnt change a thing!!!!!!

A list of things you should re-think before you do

We all know we shouldn't do these things but for one reason or another we make these BAD decisions.
Hindsight is 20 20 but they don't make glasses for that! These are my top ten things I should have reconsidered.:

1. After a night out of drinking, clean off the back window before you drive to the store. You will get pulled over because of the window not being cleaned off and then get busted for drinking..

2. Don't play card games with people you don't know. Because you will always lose.

3. Don't try to call an ex after 10 years because you think they want to talk to you.

4. Don't try to hit someone with a ding dong. It can be a deadly weapon!

5.Don't decide it is time to tell your boss how you feel under paid and over used when its time to get your raise.

6. Don't write something in your blog that can relate to somebody at work that reads your blog.  It might backfire.

7.  Dont  say you are on your way when you are really at happy hour

8. Dont try to out fart someone, you might end up with dirty pants!

9.  Dont try to whisper in a valley. .Everyone can hear you!

10. Dont try to moon someone on the highway when you have a pimple on your ass.

Please don't ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies. Please take into consideration I was young, stupid or under the influence. Consider how you want to live your lives!

Drama

We all know the word and most of us hate it! I think it is way over used these days, but a lot of the times it is still an appropriate term for things going on. I am soooo guilty and I felt like this was the place to confess. As much as I really do hate drama, one way or another i get pulled into it. Some people don't think that what they are doing or saying causes drama, but that usually means it does.  Something that I have realized and tried to remember is that all of my friends have different opinions, different likes and different personalities. I like each friend because of who they are and what they contribute to our friendship. No one is perfect and no one is going to think or feel exactly the same that I do about things and I try to always respect that and remember that. If I am being honest....I have to admit that I forget that sometimes.  I need to realize that not everyone is going to like everything about me and that is ok. As long as you like me as a friend, we are good.  So many people get chips on their shoulder's because someone isn't exactly what they think is normal or like themselves and I know I am guilty of that. Then we talk about it to someone else and before we know it....there is drama. that is one of my new year's resolutions. I am going to try and appreciate all of my friends for who they are, appreciate their differences and respect their boundaries. If I don't, please feel free to call me on it! 

All I want for Christmas is a hippopotomaus!

I heard that song this morning on my way into work. It wouldn't be the Christmas season without hearing that song at least once! So what do you think? Do you detest it or think it is kinda of cute?  I love it in the kinda of way that I hate the fact I cant get it out of my mind once i hear it!  I was thinking about the song and how  the kid wanting a hippo meant and I finally got it!  Sorry I am slow some times.  maybe what we want isn't realistic, like wanting a hippo. I know my kids have a VERY unrealistic Christmas list, but as a parent I am trying to do my best to full fill it. Why don't we all ask for a hippo for Christmas?  Set the bar really high, and that way we are guaranteed a decent gift.  I was soooo guilty of being the person I talked about in my Grinch's blog! Only because I went Christmas shopping that Sunday and bought myself a sweater that was on sale. to me that was pretty good, because I could have bought a hole shit load of stuff easily! Oh well I am human. i love shopping and shopping for other people is even better! We are officially in the holiday season and I am happy to have all my friends and family in my life. I am also appreciative to those people that pointed things out to me with my last blog. I have always been the type of girl that was proud of who I was and I never tried to make sure other people liked me. Thank you to everyone that reminded me of that. I feel so much better and appreciate your friendship :)

Like Mother, Like Daughter

When we were little kids, there was a time that each one of us hoped and wanted to be like our parents. Every little boy couldn't wait to grow up and be like his dad. They wanted to go hunting or fishing and just hang with their dads. Every little girl wanted to grow up and be like their mom. Wear pretty clothes and jewelry like their moms did and get their hair and nails done.  Then as we got older, our wishes might have slightly changed. During the teenage years being like our parents may not have seemed like coolest thing anymore. We may have even labeled them as "lame" or "dorks". We swore we would NEVER be like them. We would always be cool as parents when we were in that role. Time went on and we grew up. Some of us have even had our own kids and now being like our may may be exactly what we strive for.
I know that for me, once I became a mom and learned what it was like to put some one's needs before my own, I looked to my mom for help and answers. I wanted to give my kids the same love, support and encouragement that she gave me. I knew that as a child, teenager and an adult, my mom has always been my biggest supporter. Don't get me wrong...when I have been wrong, she has not hesitated to tell me so. She has given me that "hard love" before, but I understand why and I appreciate it. That is what I strive to be as a mother.  My mom is also one of the kindest persons I know of. She would do anything for anyone including animals. She has helped so many stray dogs and hurt animals that she has found. She has such a big heart. That is something that she taught me and I am so happy that I have followed in her footsteps in those areas. Though there are many ways I want to be like my mom, I have to be truthful that there are some I do not.  Here goes  (Mom, don't kill me! ).
I have to say that my mom is one of the slowest drivers!  It is painful to drive with her. She is so nervous about everything and everyone around her that she drives way under the speed limit all the time! My grandma is too so I am hoping that isn't what I am going to be like in another 20 years.
My mom is also a hoarder. Anything that has the smallest amount of sentimental value, she keeps. I mean anything!  There have even been presents that people have given her that she doesn't want to open because they are too special and she wants to keep them just the way they are. (not kidding!)  I am starting to get a little worried because I find that I am starting to do some of the same things. Not to that extreme, but my keepsake box has turned into tubs!
Another things my mom likes to do is sing. She has a beautiful voice and used to sing when she was younger, but now she likes to sing obnoxious songs and things just to be silly. It's funny but not really at 6:00 in the morning!  LOL!  Well today I found myself doing just that. It was my friend Sarah's birthday today and I called her at 630 this morning and sang happy birthday to her on her voice mail.  OMG! I am turning out like my mom :)
The last thing I notice is that my grandma is repeatedly calling all of her kids and grand kids by the wrong names. I have caught my mom doing the same thing from time to time.  Please don't let me start doing that. I am worried that it is inevitable!
But with all the joking aside, my mom is an amazing woman and I would be lucky to be half the woman that she is!  Love ya mom!

Dont be mean to my mom

LOL!  Those are the words out of my big boy's mouth today!  It is so funny how much he picks up on, how much he understands and what he takes interest in.  So after the ordeal with my last blog, Austin has heard me talking and is a little upset. I tried to explain to him what was going on (in kid terms) and he doesn't understand why  people are upset by what I said. He thinks people are being mean to Santa and I was sticking up for him. Little does he know that it is true but not in the way he thinks! I am at a loss for words. I want him of all people to stay in this little Christmas bubble and not deal with the crap I have seen this past week.. My last blog was about Christmas spirit and it seemed to bring about the opposite.  I am really sorry. I was feeling very lucky that night about what I had in my life. My life compared to what other people had,  and I didn't want anyone to feel bad, especialy my loved ones.

Santa VS the Grinch

Bah! humbug!  that is not me but I have run across several people that have acted that way this year. So lets see who has the Christmas spirit and who has the Grinch's way of thinking.  I have experienced people at work who have passed out Christmas cards to everyone except one person who they don't care for. To me that is so hypocritical. How can you say you are passing along Christmas wishes to everyone except the person you don't like? To me that defeats the purpose. Have we forgotten what Christmas is about? I think a little bit of Grinch slid in there. Christmas is supposed to be about giving and that means to everyone. this includes those less fortunate and those we don't normally get along with. God didn't differentiate between people and either should we. I always worry that I don't have enough money do buy a ton of presents for everyone in my family but what about those people that cant even buy one? I have been thinking about that a lot lately and decided that I should practice what I say and not act like I am all about Christmas. Going to the stores and buying gifts for myself might be fun, but then I think about those people that could use that extra $20 to buy a shirt or pair of jeans. I am selfish. That is how i feel. A lot of us have more than enough money and spend it on each other, but what about the money we could spend on people that have nothing? I realized that today when I had a homeless woman talk to me.It was very humbling.

Think about what you have and what you can give and I hope everyone has a fulfilling Christmas.

Times are changing!

So my weekend so far has been like this...

Friday night I came home and we ordered out to the Office. I was in charge of getting the food and going to the red box for movies. As usual, I got a movie for Kenny and I and a movie for the kids. We ended up eating dinner while watching the kid movie and never ended up watching the movie for Kenny and I. Once the kid movie was over I made a pile on the living room floor and me and the kids passed out, that is until I was rudely interrupted. I wont even go there because I am sure none of you want to hear about that. this morning we all woke up about 830 and I went to IGA to get food for breakfast. I decided at work Friday to check out pinterest and found I was hooked. I  understand every one's fascination now!  I found a breakfast recipe and made it for everyone. The rest of the afternoon was spent cleaning and catering to Austin, Olivia and Austin's friend. Later a different friend called Austin to spend the night.  One kid down!  Then grandma came over to check out the Christmas tree and lights. She asked Olivia if she wanted to come over and stay the night. For a second I thought we had a chance at a night to ourselves, but Olivia quickly said no and that she wanted to stay with us. Ugh!  We went to Tequilas and Kenny and I both had a margarita. OK a little more fun. Then we came home and I made him play 3 games of  Yahtzee with me. He then told me he would play strip Yahtzee with me if I could get Olivia to go to sleep. Well to say the least... still no luck!  This child is an energizer bunny.  While reading facebook I see all these posts of everyone who is backroading tonight or having a few friendly drinks. I was just excited to play Yahtzee. Oh how things have changed!

You annoy me!

I am not even in a bad mood or a semi bad mood. I am in a good mood, but I have been building this list for awhile and since I didn't have anything else to blog about I thought this would work!

So everyone gets annoyed by something or someone, maybe even by me! Well I might feel the same way and I have decided to make a blog about my annoyances (some of them at least).

1. People who take the elevator to go up or down one flight of stairs. Sorry, but unless you are physically unable to walk, that should not be a problem. Come on! Laziness takes on a whole new meaning to me with this one. I cannot stand when I am on an elevator and someone gets on and tells me they want the next floor. Really? By the time you spend waiting for the elevator you could already have walked to where you want to go. Sorry, but that is the truth! 

2. People who come into the bathroom and use the stall right next to you even though there is another one available. That is just rude! Seriously, I want my space even if I am only going #1. Why would you want to use the restroom right next to someone if you didn't have to? Annoying!

3. People who pull out in front of you when there is no one behind you. This pisses me off and is a huge part of my road rage. I highly doubt that pulling out in front of me instead of waiting a few more seconds is going to make a difference with the time it takes you to get to where you need to go. If it does then I guess kudos to you.

4. People who think they are praising themselves but at the same time they are putting other people down for not doing the same thing. To each their own. That is all I have to say about that!

5. People that use all the toilet paper and don't replace it or say anything. You know who you are and you know that the person after you is going to be screwed and have to drip dry or worse yet use their underwear and throw them away. yes. I have been there and done that!  Not one of my best moments but it was what had to be done!

That is all for now. I would LOVE if you shared some with me!

The Grinch that Stole Christmas!

That is the musical that I bought tickets for!  It will be a girl's night/day out. The lucky girls- me, my mom, my grandma and Livie. I am so excited. I remember going to the Fox when I was a little girl and I have been dieing to take Olivia ever since I found out I was having a girl. This is going to be a memory for the books. Four generations of our family women and we are going to put on our fancy dresses and see us some Dr Suess's musical.
This Christmas season is already turing into a special one. Two of our friends have given birth to their beautiful baby boys and they are all doing well, thank god. Everyone in my family is doing well this year and there is so much to be thankful for. Austin is turning into a wonderful little man and Olivia....well she is a girl so what can I say?  She is definetly her own person and has a very destinctive personality. She has decided that she wants to marry me and asks me almost every single night. Once I say I will, she goes into her bedroom and grabs one ring, one necklace and one hair barrette. Once she puts all of them on me she takes my hand and walks me into her bedroom and then says we are married. Kenny, Austin and I crack up every time. It never gets old! Olivia has also offered up her potty chair to everyone in the family. Any time any of us goes to use the bathroom she makes sure to tell us that we can use her potty chair if we want to. What a sweet little girl :)
I have been full force with my Christmas shopping and I am a little worried that I might be out of control. I am having so much fun buying gifts for everyone this year, I cant seem to put a limit. I guess my checking account will do that for me when I get a big fat insufficient funds letter in the mail. Oh well, no one can accuse me of being a grinch.
Oh and by the way... I love my Christmas tree this year.  It is still the same one as last year, but I spiced it up this year and I am very happy with it. Kenny set it up on Sunday and after 15 minutes he came into the kitchen and told me the tree was up and fluffed and ready for the ornaments. I knew that there was no way he fluffed the tree in 15 minutes. Sure enough, I walked into the living room and there was our Charlie Brown Christmas tree! I told Kenny that you arent supposed to see the rod going through the middle of the tree!  30 minutes later and I successfully fluffed the tree and then the kids and I proceeded to decorate it. I did make one change that did not go over well with Austin.  I replaced the Santa tree topper with a big golden bow. I think it looks better but I know this is going to be a fight I probably wont win.

Talk to you all later!

Oh Christmas Tree!

Once Turkey Day is over, it is game on for the Christmas season! Every year I stress about my  Christamas shopping, but if I am being honest with myself I have to admit I actually thrive on the challenge and intensity of it.  Trying to find the best deal on a gift or finding the perfect gift for someone can be so stressful, but it is a challenge I rise to every Christmas season. I start every year making a list of things that I see in ads that might make good gifts for someone, then I start getting a little more serious as the weeks pass and C-day gets closer. My list starts to get smaller and the names of the stores I need to make trips to gets larger. How can one list get smaller and the other one get bigger? Well that is because I am obsessive about making sure each person gets the "perfect" gift for them. I have also been known to buy something for someone and then see something else that I think is better somewhere else and then I have to turn around and return the other gift!  I understand that I am making it harder on myself, but it makes me feel better.

The other thing I love about Christmas is the decorations and the Christmas tree. Well last year Kenny got the Christamas tree out of storage and brought it into the house. Well guess what?  He plugged it in and half the lights were out!  We messed with it and tried to get them to work but there was no hope. I yelled at Kenny for awhile because I KNOW it was his fault. He never stores the Christmas decorations the right way. He is always in a big hurry to get them put up and he does a half ass job at it. I'm sure that was the reason the Christmas lights werent working. So he heads to the store to get a new tree. Once he got home he took it out of the box and plugged it in and to my horrible dissapointment he had brought home a pre-lit colored tree! Ugh!  How could he do that?!  He knows I love the white Christmas lights!  I was sooo upset and just couldnt believe that he would ruin my  Christmas tree that way! Well I had to suck it up and deal with it, but I think I pouted almost every day. Even with the ornaments it wasnt the same as my old tree.  So this year I am trying to be optimistic about the Christmas tree. I decided that maybe all it needs is some new ornaments that might enhance the colored lights. Maybe make them more appealing to me. I went to the store tonight and started picking out different arrangements of ornaments. I decided on purple and silver. I had about 6 boxes loaded in my cart and a big smile on my face. My tree would look beautiful this year, but then I took a glance at some of the prelit trees they had on display and realized that my purple and silver would look amazing if my lights were white but on a colored tree, not so much :(  Back to the drawing board. By this time the kids were running through the store as if it was their own personal playground and Kenny was staring daggers at me to indicate his impatience.  I finally decided that green, red, gold ornamenrts with gold ribbon on the tree might work with colored lights.  After putting them in my cart and taking them back out 3 times, I decided "WTH, it cant make it any worse!" 

I guess when I out the tree up this weekend I will find out if the ornaments make a difference or not or if I just need to donate the tree and get myself a new one!  Bring on the Christmas spirit!

Austin Dale Schmidt

On November 26, it will 8 years since the day I gave birth to the most incredible kid. Even though it has been eight years, I can remember everything perfectly from the time I found out i was pregnant to the time I gave birth to Austin.  So finding out I was pregnant was a bit of a shock. It definitely was not planned. Kenny and I weren't even living together much less married.  The day I took the test, I remember feeling like I was going to throw up and then pass out, not just because I was pregnant, but because I was in totally shock. I remember crying hysterically and all Kenny could tell me was that it was ok and we would make it through it together. He was always so supportive and optimistic. Never once did he ever seem scared or concerned.  He really helped me accept what was happening and eventually see the happy future that was ahead of us. We both told out mothers and that went over sort of well. My real concern was telling my dad and grandparents. I decided it would be best to tell my dad by myself and in a public place. That way he had to control his reaction somewhat. Surprisingly he took it really well and was actually excited about becoming a grandpa. Then it was time to tell my grandparents. Kenny came with me and we took a walk outside with my grandma and grandpa. I broke the news to them that I was pregnant and that Kenny had asked me to marry him. I remember my grandpa telling us congratulations and giving us his blessing and all my grandma said was, "look at those flowers over there. They sure are pretty!"  I was like. "grandma, did you hear anything I just said?"  She said "yeah" and then she went on to talk about her flowers.  LOL! 

So fast forward to November 26,2003 and I was lying in the hospital bed having mild contractions. Everyone was there. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends.  I was going to attempt to do it without an epidural and told the nurse no thanks when she came in and offered it.Within 2 minutes, I had two major contractions back to back and was barely able to catch my breath. I yelled for Kenny to run and get the nurse and tell her I changed my mind!  Finally at 12:34, I gave birth to this incredibly slimy. bloody looking baby boy!  Once he was cleaned up, the dr placed him in my arms and I lost my breath. I was in totally awe at the miracle I was holding. I couldn't even talk and then the tears began to flow. I had never cried such tears of joy in my whole life like I did that day. It is something I will remember for the rest of my life. This little boy was a gift to me and I believe saved my life. Austin gave me a whole new prospective on my life and a new purpose. I wanted to be better and give him everything I could. I new within minutes of holding him that I would lay down my life for him without hesitation. That day changed my life forever.

Eight years later and Austin still amazes me. For any of you that know Austin, you have an idea of what kind of kid he his and how loving he is to everyone. He has even stepped into the role of being a big brother without much effort and even though Austin and his sister bicker at times, he is always there to help her and take care of her when she needs him.

Happy Birthday Austin. You will always be my peanut and no matter how old you are, you will be my baby boy!

Bittersweet

I think I might have mentioned it a time or two, but work has been more of a bitch than usual for about 9 months now! For those that don't know, I am the trainer for my department at Scottrade brokerage firm. Anything that affects the Stock Market impacts my job.There has been three major projects this year along with a continuous flow of new reps that has kept me so busy, my head has been spinning since March!  Well finally on Monday the last and biggest project rolled. This was the biggest and most important project I have been responsible for and basically the biggest point of my career. I have felt like everything in my life has revolved around this. My moods have all been centered on what was going on at work and so has my personal well being. Working at a high level of stress every day for months takes a toll on you both physically and mentally. yesterday I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulder! the aftermath will still linger and I still have a lot to do, but the biggest weight has been lifted! Hallelujah!

On a lighter note, I heard the funniest and weirdest thing I think I have ever heard last week. This girl that sits across from me, who has only been in the department for about 2 months, starting speaking a different language while talking on the phone. Me and another co-worker we emailing each other trying to figure out what she was saying, but nothing even sounded familiar to another language.  Finally another co-worker asked her what language she was talking and she said it was a home-made gibberish!  WTF is that??!!  She said that it was a language that her mom made for her family and close friends when she was younger and they still speak it to each other. It is a whole separate language that only they know!  Is that not the craziest thing you have ever heard of? Some might say it is creative, but a different word comes to my mind... cult!  Seriously, who has the time to create their own language and then teach it to their children. Don't you think teaching them an actual language would me more beneficial?  Not to mention the fact that I didn't like not knowing what she was saying.  I have to say it made me a little nervous!

The last thing I have to talk about is something I need every one's opinion on. I am getting the kids pictures taken with Santa at Trish Cato's house on the 26th.  I thought it would be really cute to dress them in Christmas pjs for their pictures!  That way it looked like they had just woke up on Christmas morning.  Well Kenny said it was really stupid and I should dress them in their Christmas outfits.  I think he has no imagination. What are your opinions?

I'm back!

I know, I know. It's been forever, but I swear I have good reasons. Life has just been a little bit crazier than usual and I have been just trying to get everything done a day at a time just to keep up. When you get rushed and run downed, it's hard to spark any creativity, but I promised a friend or two that I would try and get back into the swing of it.  So my first blog is going to start by me asking you a question.....The Rock or Vin Diesel? That has been my question all day for anyone who would listen.  I have been a fan of both for awhile now. So, maybe their acting isn't that great, but they are easy eye candy and that makes up for the poor acting. I love the Rock in all of his Disney movies and loved him in Walking Tall. He does a good job playing a good guy who has a bad/rough edge to him. I have to say I never saw him when he was wrestling, but I can only imagine!  Then there is Vin Diesel!  All I can say is The Fast and the Furious! Holy crap! Hot! Hot! Hot! There is just something about the way he can look at someone and only say a few words for you to know he means what he says.  Well if you are wondering why I am asking this question, it is because I watched the Fast Five last night. If you don't know already, Vin Diesel returns in this movie as the car thief who is on the run with his sister and his partner. The Rock is the Federal agent that is tracking them.  They face off quite a few times and engage in an kick ass fight at one point during the movie.  Of course Vin Diesel gets the best of the Rock and I enjoyed watching the whole thing.  After seeing both of these men in the same movie, fighting against each other, I have made my decision.  To answer my own question....it would have to be Vin Diesel!  What about you?

My Blog

Well I have been so busy lately that I have not had any inspiration or time to blog. I guess you could say I have been in a slump. When I decided to start blogging, I did it because I thought it would be fun and I have always enjoyed writing. At that time I had all sorts of ideas (which I have already used up) and thought this would be a piece of cake.  Some days it isn't so easy and I have read that in order to have a successful blog, you should blog every day or every other day. Well I have been slacking!  Trying to come up with creative ideas is a little more difficult than you would think. My friend Trish said she loves reading my blogs and they are entertaining but she has no input for me. WTF! Come on Trish you are a mother of 3! You have to have good blog material! So I decided to google blogging ideas. I came into this blindly so maybe I should have done some homework first.  What do you blog about? Obviously you shouldn't blog when you have been drinking! I have learned that the hard way and will NOT repeat that mistake!  That blog has been deleted! Oops!  I love the idea of blogging because it gives me a place to express myself, share my insight and things going on in my life. I tend do be a little to sarcastic sometimes and a little too emotional but I think that makes for some interesting blogs.  I have decided that in order to solve my problem, I am opening my blog up to anyone who is interested.  Please share some of your ideas or insight and I would LOVE to bring them into my blog. I know a lot of you that read this have plenty to share and comment about so let me hear it!

Why is it?

Why is that I love Spring and fall the most? Spring reminds me of a new beginning. The fresh smell of grass, the first smells of BBQ. Flowers blooming and tress turning green again. Then there is fall which is the end of summer, but instead of being sad, it makes me feel warm and snugly. I love those coll nights when I can snuggle up under the covers and watch a good movie or read a book. I love making hot chocolate and eating chili or homemade soup. Even though the flowers are dying and the leaves are falling off the trees, I still love it. I look forward to Halloween and bonfires and seeing all the little kids dress up in their Halloween costumes. Sometimes I even like dressing up myself!

Why is it that crabby people don't realize that they are crabby?  Why is it that the people that complain the most don't realize they are the ones that are causing the problems? I think sometimes everyone needs to be reminded that their lives could be so much worse and all the little problems are nothing compared to what they could be facing. I'm sure there are many people who would give anything to have the minor problems that we gripe about every day instead of the life changing ones they face.

Why is it that reaching the end of a good book makes me sad?  I swear every time I find a good book or a good series, I read them so quick and then once I start getting close to the end I slow down because I don't want it to be over?  When I do finish I feel so sad because it's like I am losing friends.

Why is it that I have to wear my blue jeans about 3 times before they fit me the way I like?  I know that probably means they are too small but when I get them bigger then after one time, they are sagging and then I hate the way they fit.

Why is it that I woman are always expected to multi task and juggle work, taking care of the kids and cleaning the house. If you give a man more than one task to accomplish in a night, they tell you that you are being too pushy. I guess that makes us stronger and more efficient!

Well that's all for tonight! Sleep tight everyone!

Take charge or give up?

That is my question today?  At what point do you say "Screw it?" Hmmm...well that could apply to so many different things. Work, housework, losing weight, difficult friends, keeping up with the Jones's. I mean who can keep up with all these things and still be sane?  I know I always complain about how hectic my life is, but that is because I am trying to keep up with all of these things at the same time. I need to give up something. So let's weigh my options.  Work- well that is one of the things I am very good at. I might have a bachelors in Human Resource management, but I am very good and knowledgeable at what I do. For those of you who don't know, I work at Scottrade (brokerage firm). I am the department trainer so I am responsible for training new reps, updating all web material and updating our department manual. I have been very busy this year because there have been many new hires and several big projects rolling that I was in charge of training the reps and updating all our procedures. It has really helped me to grow as a trainer and I feel like I have accomplished a lot. I am proud of my accomplishments so that is one area I have to give 100%. Housework- well you can only let that go for so long before your house starts looking like a pig pen. With two young kids, that doesnt take too long.  I might threaten it every once in awhile but eventually I give in and clean every one's mess up (including Kenny's). Losing weight- that has already fallen to the side. I have gained 10 lbs over the summer! I am hoping once I finish this last project at work on 11/12 I can start focusing on running and working out on a daily basis. I mean I came back after having 2 kids and gaining 60+ with both, I am sure I can lose 10- 15 lbs once I put my mind to it!  Difficult friends- well I better not even go there! The more difficult they are, the more I want to do my own thing.  No room or time for drama :)  Keeping up with the Jones's - I try and do my best, but I know I cant do it all. Some people have more time and are better at some of this stuff than I am, but I feel like I do enough to make myself satisfied. If I tried to do it to that extreme I would be crazy and heavily medicated. Wow!   So I guess the outcome is that there is not much i can cut out of my schedule. I just need to suck it up and things will get better as time goes by.

Birthday Parties and Bullying

Sorry I haven't blogged all week! I have felt so tired and just pooped every night! You know how sometimes you look around and there is just so much that needs to be done and so much you want to do, you just give up without doing any of it?  Well that is how I have felt all week! This past weekend wiped me out. We were going the entire weekend and I feel like I am just now getting some energy back. I wanted to go workout tonight but instead I did some much needed house work. 
So Olivia's 3rd birthday party was this weekend and I have to say that I think it was her best party yet. I felt like everything went smoothly, I wasn't a nervous or rushed mess and Olivia had a great time! Even though it was a little bit on the chilly side, many of our friends and family still made it and I think everyone had a great time.  I have to say the decorations turned out great. Once again,  I fought with the table cloths because of the wind, but after applying hundreds of pieces of duck tape, the table covers stayed on top of the  tables! Thanks Nicole and Jill for the help! Olivia had her polka dot Mickey dress on and her Minnie mouse ears. All i can say is ....ADORABLE! She got so many presents and I still have not been able to find a place for all of them. Aunt Kristen made the cutest Mickey and Minnie birthday cakes. they were by far the hit of the party!  Kristen needs to advertise because I don't think anyone could have done them better! Once the party was over, Jill and I cleaned everything up and headed back to my house with the kids. Kenny went to Travis's 30th birthday and Jill and I took all of Olivia's presents out and set up her doll house, then we sat back and had a few drinks and threw some darts in the basement.  Nice ending to a wonderful day.

The next day I cleaned the house, fed the kids and then we were off to my dad's house for another birthday party for Olivia. It was especially special because my Grandma Guerdan was there and we haven't seen her in a few years. My grandma is a special kind of person. She raised 6 boys and one girl and she has the personality and attitude to show for it!  Even though she is 85, she still has her spunk!  She lives in an assisted living apartment out by St Charles and she cant get around very well any more. She needs help getting up and moving around the house and all the different medication she is on makes her shake. At one point I was trying to get Olivia to use the potty and my grandma said she would go after Olivia if Olivia would go first. I guess Olivia thought it was a deal because it made her use the potty. We were watching the slide show that Sarah Blind made for me for my dad's 60 birthday and my grandma kept insisting that some of the pictures were not of my dad but of my other uncles! She was being crazy and boy can she put up a fight. When she believes she is right there is no proving her wrong. She kept insisting that we were looking at pictures of my uncles and not my dad. Oh geeze grandma, you had me in tears because I was laughing so hard!  Then she told me something really sad. She said that two of the other women that stay in the assisted living apartments were picking on her. She said that the one woman called her names all the time and when they played bingo she would tell other people not to sit next to my grandma because she smelt like urine and stunk. My grandma was really upset and said that these women kept picking on her and she felt like she was going to have a nervous breakdown.    I was just blown away by this!  How in the world are grown woman acting like childish, mean bullies?  Isn't it enough that you have to get older and your body starts shutting down on you, but then you have to deal with being picked on and bullied. My grandma said these are not her "golden" years they are her "shit" years!  She told me how horrible it is to be alone in her apartment and not being able to do the things she used to do and so many of her friends that she had have now passed away. I felt so sad listening to her describe her life now. I felt the same anger at these women for picking on my grandma as I did when Austin gets picked on at school.   It's just not fair. Here is this woman that has raised 7 kids,been there for all of her grandkids and lived to be 85 years old just to be alone, falling apart and made fun of. Where is the justice? She deserves so much better.   I could have sat there all night and talked with her but it got late and the kids needed to get home and ready for bed. We took a few pictures of her and the kids and told her how much we loved her about 20 times and then left. My visit made me realize that no matter how busy I think I am or how hectic my life gets, I need to make time for my loved ones. I have vowed to make time to visit my grandma at least once a month no matter what. I am always so focused on the kids growing up and getting bigger that I have forgotten that everyone else around me is getting older too. I need to make time to spend with them while I still have the opportunity.  If there is someone that you love and you have been meaning to make time to spend with them, do it!

What a week!

It has been a busy week so let's recap.... I guess the biggest thing this week has been trying to keep up with Olivia's potty training. I am realizing now how easy of a child Austin was. I don't know if it is the second child syndrome or the fact that she is a girl, but she is stubborn as hell! It is so frustrating because I know that she knows what she is doing and what she is supposed to be doing and she refuses to do it. She straight up tells me "I don't want to use the potty!". Well since that is not an option, I decided to suck it up and stick her in big girls undies and deal with the consequences. Once we started rewarding her with stickers, she has been doing better but I have still had to wash more underwear in one week than I have in a whole month!  
Next thing occupying all my time has been Olivia's birthday party that is planned this weekend. Halloween?  hell no! I  have to get through this party first! The weather is pissing me off! First is was calling for 80 and sunny, then it went to 70 and sunny, now 65 and sunny. I guess I should be happy that it will be sunny! I guess Olivia will be wearing her dress with leggings and and a jacket.  So this week has been a sleepy week for me. I have not wanted to get up in the mornings. There was a couple days that I was late to work. So why is it that Kenny decides its a good idea to point out and repeat over and over that I am running late as I am hurrying around the house?  No shit Sherlock!  I know I am late and I do not need you to state the obvious!
I took a walk with Olivia last night while Austin was in PSR classes and for the first time in Red Bud I saw a guy walking/stumbling down the middle of the street. He was walking and falling from one side of the road to another and then stopped right in front of a semi truck. The truck has to slam on its breaks. I didn't have my phone to call the cops but once I got to the 4-way I saw two cops cars turn down the road and flip their lights on. Good thing because someone was bound to get hurt.  I guess that guy put a new meaning to Hump Day!  Well tomorrow is finally Friday and I am looking forward to 3:00 tomorrow. Jill coerced me into meeting her at the winery with promises of help on Saturday for Olivia's party.  Hope I don't live to regret that! LOL!

Call you back in 15 years

We all know life can get so busy and time can slip away from you, but when you work full time and have an 8 and 3 year old, time seems like it is on fast forward. It is hard enough to prioritize things between my work and family life, I can hardly fit personal things in. When I am able to, it usually involves the kids in one way or another.  This is how my life is right now and I am ok with that.  I would rather give up a night out with the girls to spend it with my kids playing uno or watching a movie. Right now my kids want to be around me and want me to play games with them. I personally think that there will be plenty of time to go "out" when they have grown up more. Didn't we make a  decision when we had our kids to put them first? Yes, we still need time for ourselves, but how often can you use that excuse?   I am only speaking for myself and in no way talking bad about any one's parenting.   Some of my friends go out more than others and it makes me sad from time to time but I realize that being with my kids right now is what I would rather be doing.  I know I would regret it if I didn't. i just felt the need to write what i was thinking.

Thinking back

I heard the fireworks go off tonight, signaling a win for the Red Bud football team! Go Musketeers! Shortly after, I had to run to the gas station to get Kenny some milk for the cookies he made. While I was there I saw all sorts of people that had just left the game. There were a bunch of teenagers who were wearing their school spirit attire and some of them with their faces painted. It took me back to the days when that was me and my friends after a school football game. For some reason Fall always makes me think of the old high school days. Going back to school again and hanging out with my friends. Everyone would always meet up at the game and then once it was over, we would all flock to the house of whomever decided to have the party for the night. I remember my girlfriends and I going over to each others houses to get ready for our Friday night. We would fix our hair, apply about a whole can of hairspray, swap clothes about a 100 times and then give each other the thumbs up before we were off to the party.   Sometimes those memories seem like only a year ago.   I remember the times when there wasn't anyone having a party, everyone would load up in a few  cars and head out to the back roads. The grassy knol was a popular party spot. There was always that bit of excitement when you pulled up because you never knew who was there and maybe, just maybe that hot guy you had your eyes on would be there too! Someone would turn on the radio and we would all just hang out, enjoying our teenage years.  I had quite a few parties at my house too.  The first one was  HUGE!  One of the freshman stood at the end of my driveway and collected money as people showed up. 2 half barrels, music and a bonfire equaled a GREAT time!  When my mom came home, there was actually a guy puking off my deck and since his head was shaved we decided to take lipstick and color all over it while he was throwing up.  My mom freaked out because she thought he was bleeding.  The party lasted until the cops showed up and then all but a few that were staying the night, left.   Another party that I remember going to was at a fellow classmate's house who lived in Hecker. Someone actually got shocked with a pig shocker that night!   I am sure I am forgetting some of the other memorable moments, but there was so many, it is hard to think of all of them!  I really cant believe that I am now a mother of two and 34 years old.  It just blows my mind that I am no longer that fun, irresponsible teenager.  I sometimes wonder what is in store for me once my kids are all grown up and have their own lives. Will that be the time that I can reconnect with old friends?  Will I be able to do all those things that I always wanted to do?  It's weird to think about all the stages you go through during your life. Each one is a challenge in it's own way and fulfilling in different ways.   Even though I cant pick up on a whim and go any where I want and I cant sleep in as late as I want, I am very happy and thankful for what I have in my life at this point and I hope that whatever is in store for me in the future is half as good as what I have now :)

Getting to know Melissa

This seems to be a popular blog and I have yet to do this, so today I am going to blog 10 things that most of  you do not know about me.  I think this will be a fun blog, at my expense of course, but it is long overdue. I need to give you guys an insight into some of my secrets. This blog is called Schmidt Secrets.....

1. I sleep with my very own pillow pet every night! I am actually not too ashamed because if you have ever felt one of these things you would know how amazingly soft and comfortable they are.  Olivia got one for Christmas and I found myself stealing it when she would fall asleep.  Well I guess Kenny noticed it too, because he got me a valentine's day puppy pillow pet as my Valentine's day gift!  So now every night Olivia and I get our pillow pets and head to the bed. Love it!

2. When I was younger I was afraid that my boobies were going to be lop sided so I actually did exercises to make sure they were both equally the same size!  Seriously, I was worried about this. I found this exercise thing that my mom had and I think it was for your arms, but I thought it would help strengthen my boobs so that they would be big and the same size.  It's embarrassing, but I was young and everyone knows we have crazy thoughts when we were growing up.

3. When I got married I wanted my grandpa to walk down the isle with me and my dad. I wanted my grandpa on one side of me and my dad on the other side. My grandpa has been like a father to me my entire life and I felt he deserved that honor as well as my dad. Sadly, it wasn't possible because the isle wasn't big enough for three people to walk down. I had to settle with a special dance between my grandpa and I during my reception.  It was still a special moment.

4. For my wedding, I actually paid two different stylist to do my hair. So it was the day of my wedding and my bridesmaid, Stephanie, and I went to get our hair done together. I had never been to this hairdresser, but went there on a referral.  Well this girl slicked all my hair back and put it into a tight bun at the top. Maybe cute for someone with a better profile than myself, but it did not look good on me. So I walked past another hair dresser, in the same salon, and she could tell I wasn't happy, so she offered to fix my hair and redo the style.  I took her up on the offer, paid her and even sat there while the first hairdresser walked by me.  Oh well, the bride must be happy, right???

5. When i was younger, I had a bit of a mischievous streak in me. I actually had two of my girlfriends over to my house while my parents were gone and I decided to lock the dead bolt on them, which locked them inside my house and rode my bike back and forth in front of the house while they were standing at the window yelling for me.  I thought it was hilarious but got in big trouble later when my parents found out.  My friends have since forgiven me and we can all laugh about it now.

6. I am infatuated with Elvis. I know I wasn't around for his singing, sensational career, but I still love him!  I took an elective in college that was titled "Elvis and the Apocalypse" and it was all over from there. the obsession started.

7. My first car when I turned 16 was a 1977 Chrysler New Port. When my mom took me to get it, I thought she was playing a practical joke on me. There was no way this big, blue boat was my first car!!!  No joke...it was. This thing could easily fit 4 people in the front and about 5 in the back. The blinkers were on top of the hood and the bright light switch was on the floor board. This thing was a tank. I quickly got over the embarrassment once I realized it made a great party and road trip car!  Thanks mom!

8. So even though I complain frequently about being so busy at work, I make sure to save a little bit of time during my day to catch up on my soaps. That's right, I still watch soaps. If I don't have a chance to watch them I like to at least read the recaps. I make sure I have about 15 minutes in my day to catch up and see what is going on in Port Charles, Landview and Genoa City!

9.  Once year, when I was probably in my early twenties, I was haunted house hopping with some friends and walked into a room where Jason was. I didn't know that my friends had told them to call my name out, so when Jason started coming towards me and saying my name, I freaked out and took off running......right into a wall. I fell to the ground, nose bleeding and crying hysterically. They had to turn the lights on and take me to the hospital. My nose wasn't broken, but now I have a bump on my nose as a remembrance.

10. Finally,  I have to admit that I can say almost every Friday afternoon, when I get off work, I stop and pick myself up a drink for the drive home. I mean I have worked hard all week, I have an hour drive and darn it, I deserve it.  It is my toast to the weekend. Some people might frown on this but I know plenty of people that are guilty of this as well and it is one drink and then I am home and can safely resume my Friday night drinks if I choose.

That's it. More to come at a later, undisclosed date!

The struggles of raising an 8 and 2 year old

Well I haven't really felt like blogging much lately but I realize when I do it really helps to share the things going on in my life and how I am feeling. Things have been pretty hectic lately and my mind has been in over drive with all the things that have to be done and how I will be able to get them done. My kids have been keeping it pretty interesting though. Olivia is still refusing to be a big girl and use the potty. One day she tells me " I don't think I ever want to use the potty."  Then another day she promises me she will stay dry, so I put big girl undies on her and that last for about an hour until she walks up to me soaking wet, with the dogs following right behind her sniffing her butt!  Ok, so I try to put her on the potty and all she does is cry.  I thought girls were supposed to be easier, but I feel like she is just being stubborn!  Then my step mom heard Olivia drop the F bomb the other day. We never had this problem with Austin. If we told Austin not to say a bad word, he wouldn't. When we told him to start using the potty, he did. Geeze, these kids are total opposites!  Last night I heard Olivia in the bath tub talking, So I stood where she couldn't here me and just listened. She was talking to the "hot" and "cold" knobs on the bath tub and she was telling them that she loved them and wanted to marry them and then she gave them a kiss. then she told the cold knob not to get jealous because she would be back after she married the hot one. Then she told them not to be upset because they didn't have any legs or arms!  OMG!  This child has an incredible imagination and I can only imagine what is going to happen as she gets older!

My sweet boy Austin was told this week that he is definitely going to need braces because his mouth is already crowded and there is not going to be enough room in his mouth for his permanent teeth. when we left the dentist office he cried because he is afraid kids are going to make fun of him and call him a nerd.  It broke my heart.  I tried to explain to him that many of the kids he knows will have to get braces and by the time he gets older he will have the best smile and then everyone will be so jealous of him.  I know he doesn't understand that now, but hopefully one day he will look back and be thankful that we did that for him.

There is so much joy, frustration and heart break in being a parent. It is the best thing in the world but it takes a lot of love, patience and strength to be a good one. I pray every day that I can be the kind of parent they need and deserve.

Friday Night Lights!

Well let's see how honest I feel like being...It feels like there was a whole bunch packed into one night but maybe that is because there was a lot going on.!  So anywhoo....I finally felt a little bit better after being in my funk post the funeral. I was pretty depressed after all that but I think good things will come from it and that makes me feel better. Get together with my old "girls" will be a positive outcome to all the sadness.
Besides that, we had the family fun fair tonight at RBES.  Well, the kids had fun, but I have to say that being a parent is going to be hard considering other parents are inconsiderate and too good for the rest of us!  I thought I was done dealing with that when I left high school, but it takes on a whole new meaning when you are a parent. For those parents that like to talk about the birthday party they threw for their kid in front of the kids and parents that weren't invited......yippee! Really?  Well you don't know this mom. I don't give a crap and you have just set the tone for me and my kid.  Good thing my husband is the boy scout coach, otherwise no one would be kissing our ass!!!!  Little do you know that I have my own friends that are not fake or based on popularityy. I love the women that are sassy and speak their mind. So afterwards, I went to bunko and even though I talked a bunch of smack, I only won $15.  It was fun and I am glad I have made such cool friends!  The kids are in bed, and I took care of the husband so I guess I will go to bed and get ready for tomorrow.

Life

I have erased my beginning to this blog so many times because I don't know what to say.  Tonight I went to a funeral for my softball coach from the time I was in first grade until high school. Tonight I saw so many girls that I considered family years ago, for the first time in over a decade. I don't really think I got upset over his death alone, but the memories that he carried.  As we get older and move on in life, we forget about things or people in our childhood. I have been lucky enough to hold onto a few of those friends. Thank god!  Tonight made me think of times that my life was simple and I was happy and satisfied with who was in my everday life. they were my family! If it wasn't softball, it was sleep overs or camp Ondesonk. So many things we did together made life so simple and fun. Our parents made that happen for us and Mike was a big part of that! I tried to explain it to Kenny tonight, but surprise, he didnt understand. No matter what,  your past is a part of you and has helped to make you who you are. Tonight I gave my respects to someone that was intricate in my pre-teen years and helped to give me the stablity that I needed. I will always respect you Mike and grateful for all you did for us girls!

Friends

What does that exactly mean? There are all sorts of friends. The ones that are social, that will sit at a bar with you on any given night and drink until you think you are sisters that were separated at birth or there are the true friends that will be there no matter what you are doing!  Sometimes that sounds like a cliche, but over time I have realized what a friendship means.  When I was younger, the friends i had were my lifeline. I had a bad home life and every weekend I wanted my friends to stay with me so things would be ok. To me, my friends were my saving ingredient. Then when I got older my friends were the ones that drank and weren't afraid to let loose and do whatever it was we weren't supposed to do! At that point in my life they were the bestest friends.  Looking back, it probably wasn't the best friendships considering I would be in the bathroom puking while they were doing More shots!  Granted most were like that, but I had one in particular that was with me for the long haul. At that time in out lives we were both struggling to find our place and we were holding onto each other trying to figure it out.  She is still my friend and has been since we were in the first grade. I love her!  I have a few friends (Annie and Sarah) that I have remained very close to since kindergarten and first grade. I feel so lucky to have them in my life and to be able say that these girls have been there for me over a decade!

I have those few girls that I have been friends with since my early youth and then the ones I have made since then that are priceless.  Who is to define friendship by longevity?   I know firsthand that is not necessary true. Since I have been married and had kids, I have been introduced to different people and groups and I can say that I have formed very "real" friendships with these people. I trust them, love them, and enjoy being around them...  not because I have to, but because I want to! 

Friendship can mean many different things to everyone and can be defined by different things, but I know who I consider my friends and I want to tell all of you, "Thank you for being there!"

All Aboard the Crazy Train!

Holy crap what a week!  First off, I know some of my friends that are following my blog. I have a lot to learn still with this whole thing and I just need the time to fix my page up and maybe get a little help with it, but I need some followers. Come on....join and be a part of the blog community!  OK now that is out of the way....

What a freaking crazy week!  Seriously I feel like I am on some sort of crazy train which is ironic since that was the song that Kenny and I walked in on at our reception. That should have been a clue as to what I was in for! LOL!  Where do I start?  I know that everyone has to have this same feeling at some time or another, but I do not see an end to my ride!  At work, it seems like no matter how much I do in a day's time, I cant get caught up and I am actually falling behind. Being the department trainer has its perks but times like this make me stressed. New projects rolling, new hires and I am supposed to handle it all! Well so is life I guess!

Then at home I cant get a break. By the time I get home at 6 it is time for Austin's homework or soccer practice then dinner then baths and then maybe I get a chance to read or get on the computer. Seriously I would love to work out but anyone with this schedule and 2 kids would understand.  Oh well guess I will just be a non-skinny, overly stressed,  mother of two!

So not only is my life crazy but I know a few other people who are having similar issues. Hence the crazy train!  They say misery loves company, so why not craziness?   What are the crazy people suppose to do? Blog I guess! 

When I start feeling like this all I have to do is pay attention to the people around me and what is going on and I realize my life isn't so bad. I mean at least I have a place to live and a family that loves me. At least I am not a compulsive liar who is at the point they cant tell their own lies from reality.  These are the crazy people I have come across this week.

I guess we could all use a little craziness in ours lives because things might get too boring without it. I mean I really went overboard tonight with the craziness and sat on the computer for 3 hours down loading pictures.  I am living on the wild side!   

Well even if I am on the crazy train, hopefully I wont be alone for the ride. Anyone else interested in joining me?

Happy Hump Day!

Wednesday, aka, Hump Day!  I celebrated with a few cold bud lights. Yes, I know it is a work night and the middle of the week but this girl needed a few cold ones to relax after a stressful day. Work is killing me and the house is always a mess so sometimes I need to chill with a few drinks just to keep my sanity!  Olivia asked me to play tea party with her tonight and it got me thinking that if my life was that simple and the biggest decision I had was who to invite to my tea party, what would I do?  Well first off if I was having a tea party, I would have to send out lavish invitations and then stress about what they would look like, how many people would come and if they come would they RSVP. Who do I invite?  Some people don't get along so how do I decide who to invite?Then I would have to think about decorations. what would be my theme?  what food would I need?  It's a tea party so do I just serve tea? Do I need games for my tea party or should I google conversation starters?  I don't really have good china for a tea party so should I go buy some? What is tea party etiquette? Man this tea party is sounding more and more stressful!  I guess I will just scratch that idea!  Maybe that is the problem with people. Maybe people have a tendency to make even the simplest thing complicated and stressful.    This is why I enjoy blogging. It is my thing and it only has to be as simple or as complicated as I want it to be.  Tonight, this blog is going to be simple because today is Hump Day!!!

Bucket List

Maybe it is the change in the weather that has me thinking about this. I love the fall, when the weather gets a little cooler and the leaves start to turn. It feels like a new beginning to me even though I know it means the end of summer. Being outside when it is sunny, but not scorching and there is a little bit of wind blowing makes me happy. Football is starting and school is back in session. This time of year always makes me feel rejuvenated. So I started thinking about everything I want to do in the next week, months or even years. Why not get my bucket list in order?!  Wills are depressing and I am too young to put one of those together right now but a bucket list is fun and encouraging. Anyone who knows me knows I love making "To Do Lists", so why not make one for the long haul?  It could also be that between getting Austin to do his schoolwork and potty training Olivia, I am going to have a brain aneurysm at any moment, but either way I felt like making my list! 

(These are not necessarily in the order of importance)

1.  This one is a MUST on my list. I have to be there when my two kids get married and one day make me a grandma (Holy crap! I cant imagine being called a grandma!)

2. I want to swim with the Dolphins. I thought I was going to get my chance when we went to Florida this year, My step mom said she read that it was only $50 at Sea World so when we went and walked up to buy the ticket the lady said it was $200 and we had to sign up at least a day ahead of time.  Bummer!

3. I want to travel to Europe. I wont be picky just somewhere in Europe. I would not really be too excited about the long flight so if anyone knows of a super hero that can travel at lighting speed, let him know I am interested in an overseas trip.

4. I want to have rock hard abs just one time in my life. I don't have to maintain them or anything, but maybe just keep  them for 1 summer.

5. I want to go on a cruise and not necessarily the Disney one!  I would prefer an adult cruise where I could kick back, relax, drink, dance and just enjoy life.

6. I want to trying skiing in the mountains. I would love to stay in a cabin somewhere in the mountains, with snow all around me and then try skiing. I'm sure I am not coordinated enough, but I can at least say I tried.

7. I want to ride a bull. But only if there are several of those clowns standing besides me to catch me and move me to safety as soon as I fall because god knows it will only take a second or two.

8. I would like to go on an all girls trip with some of my closest and dearest friends. Life gets so busy that we lose touch with our girlfriends and that would be something nice to do one last time.

9. I want to get crazy one night and end up the next morning with a tattoo or crazy body piercing. I know weird right?  But it would be hilarious as long as it wasn't too crazy or noticeable.

10. I want to write a novel. I used to write all the time when I was younger and sometimes I really miss it. I don't have the time now, but maybe some day I will.

Well I think that is enough for now. So I guess now that I have a list I need to get working on it. Where should I start?  I am opened to suggestions or offers of help!

Camping fun? Or not so much?

So first off, I want to thank everyone who read my blog yesterday and responded with encouraging words. You have no idea what strength it gives me to hear that and how much better everyone made me feel. Thank you!  The decision is still in the air, but I am being strong and thinking it through the best I can!

Ahh! The great outdoors! Fresh air, mother nature, relaxation, heat, mosquito's, no hot showers, the minimum of modern technology. So is this really fun or over rated?  Well lets think about it..... When I was younger (late teens early twenties) camping with friends meant freedom. Freedom from parents from the over protective all seeing eyes. We used to load up on liquor and only bring enough to eat, drink and have fun! Float trips,  where we could let loose and be as silly and as daring as we wanted. Those were good times! Beer bongs, jello shots and loud music. Now that some of us have gotten older and settled down with families, camping brings on a new meaning.  So we can still enjoy mother nature and relaxing by the campfire but beer bongs,jello shots... no way! With the kids comes responsibility. So instead there is filthy dirty kids tracking dirt in the camper, letting bugs in because they come in and out of the door a million times and since I'm not drunk, the mosquito's are a lot more noticeable!  But then there are the times when it is fun to tell scary stories and see how the kids react or making s'mores with the kids by the campfire. I love watching them ride  their bikes and just be kids. No cares in the world.  I guess it is a different kind of camping, but not necessarily a bad one.   Maybe if it rains I can get a mud fight going. yeah!  that sounds like a fun time to me! If we are going to camp, lets do it right! Dirt, mud and bugs!  Bug eating contest?  No, I would have to be really drunk for that.  I guess a good games of ladder jacks or Phase 10!  One way or another I WILL have fun!

Decisions

We have all had to make them one way or another, but how do you know if you are making the right one? I could go back and forth and switch my decision a million times, so how do I know what is right? I wish I had it could be like that movie Mr Destiny where I could I could see how my one decision effected the rest of my life that way I would know which was the right one. You can look at it from every angle, even make a pro and con list but there is still that bit of doubt that you are making the wrong decision. Not just any decision, but one of the most important in your life. Do you go with your gut?  But with if that changes depending on the day you are having or the mood you are in.?  how do you keep that assurance that what you were so sure of a day ago is the right thing?  This is what I am struggling with right now. I am not going to say what about because I haven't made my mind up yet, but I wish I had someone to tell what I should do. I wish I had that sign or crystal ball, but this is reality and sometimes reality isn't so nice.  Everything you do in life affects your future. Some decision not as much as others, but that all have some affect. Do I wear black slimming pants today or the brown ones?  Do I have a drink after work or not?  Do I eat healthy today or pig out?  Every decision means something.  Hmmm. Maybe I will never figure it out.

Blah Blah Blah

So we all know that there have been plenty of times that you have just wanted to say or even scream BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!  Well some days are worse than others. When you are having one of those days that you don't really want to talk to anyone and you don't really care what they have to say or you are tired of hearing the same ole, same ole. Don't you just want to turn around and say blah, blah , blah and then make your hand move like a mouth while you are saying, just to make sure that you are getting your point across?  Like when your husband is complaining about the dishes not being done or that the kids are making a mess. Well Blah, Blah , Blah and BTW - why don't you do something about it? How about when you are at work and you walk to the cafeteria to get lunch and that obnoxious co-worker ends up in line behind you?  They think that just because you guys are standing in line together that make you best friends for the moment and it's time to share your feelings. Not interested!  When the same people at work complain about the same things day after day and never offer any real solution but just bitch about stuff to be bitching.....well Blah, Blah Blah to them!   I am not trying to be a crabby witch, I am just saying that I don't always have to want to talk and I don't always have to listen to your complaining. Some days I just want to be alone in my own thoughts and think about my own problems. Some days I just want to say Blah, Blah , Blah!

What a Weekend

What a busy weekend!  Whoa it was over before I knew it!  Time flies when you are having fun right? Saturday morning I woke up early and got the kiddos ready for grandmas. Red Bud was packed for 9:30 in the morning. Too many people for me especially when I am in a hurry. Move it people (that is putting what I was really saying nicely!)  Finally got the kids dropped off and then headed to Brandy Inn to meet the girls. As soon as I met Angeline in  the parking lot I told her it was beer time because I wasn't about to waste one second of our girl day!  We had a drink and then headed to Alton!   We made it to Fast Eddies about noon ordered our food and drinks and the girl's day was officially started! Whoo Hoo! Lets see I started off with a couple of beers and then I was like, "why the hell am I drinking beer?  No husband, I'm not driving and it is a beautiful freaking day!"  Bring on the Bloody Mary's!  Well I drank about four of those until I started feeling a rumble in my tummy and then I figured I better switch again. Switched to Captain and Coke! Old friend that I don't visit very often!  WE finally left there and while we were in the parking lot, two of us walked to the gas station for beer and the other three got Angeline and her breast pump situated in the car!  Ok so I never breast fed and honestly do not know the whole process, but we had some fun photo shots of everyone and the breast pump!  Enough said! LOL!  Then we headed to the Loading Dock. First time there and I LOVED it!  Beautiful place. We danced, sucked cherries up our noses (well at least I did!) and Hula Hooped!  I think we might have been a little tipsy. We left there around eight and headed back. For some the night last much later....!

Sunday, I woke up early feeling pretty good considering and then headed to my dad's for his Birthday. When we pulled up at the house a huge ass Hummer limo pulled up behind us. Surprise dad!  My step mom rented a limo to take us to Dave n Busters!  My wonderful dad nicely sad that he would have preferred the money that was spent on the limo!  Oh dad that is so classy!  We headed to D& B and made a pit stop at Walgreen's because someone forgot the diapers!  Wink, wink!  Friends and family were waiting there for us and we ate dinner and then headed to the game room.  I did some boxing and kicked ass even though Kenny said some girls were making fun of me while I was doing it because I looked retarded! Well I think they were just jealous of my boxing moves.  Finally headed home around 10:00 . Whew! Long day!   Oh and our limo driver said that he hada 50th birthday the previous day and he had taken the people to the Loading Dock!  Funny because I remember seeing a limo there!  Small world.

Well today sucked because I was tired and it was Monday.  Tomorrow I will start the work week off better!  See you all tomorrow!!

If only I hadn't....

So now I am going to share some of my regrets instead of my wishes.....

If only I hadn't.... hooked up with that guy in high school that ruined every year except my senior year. He was controlling, physically abusive and it ruined 3 years of my high school life. I will never let that happen to my babies! On the positive note, it made me a stronger and a better person!

If only I hadn't.....decided to drink and drive after mardigras!  that was when I got my 2nd DUI!  It was 10 + years ago but it will always be with me and it was one of the stupidest things I have ever done!

If only I hadn't......lied and told Kenny I would be home at a certain time and didn't show up. I  guess it would have saved us a fight!

If only I hadn't..... bought a size in pants that fit exactly right. Now I wouldn't be bitching because the shit doesn't fit me!

If only I hadn't......told that friend that she was obnoxious when she was drunk. I guess she has a right to be pissy with me!

If only I hadn't.....forgot to take my crazy pill!  Sorry for whoever was in my path that night!

Grow some balls and share yours!

If only....

Everyone has had these thoughts before and some you may share with others and some you may keep a secret. Well I am going to share a few of my "If Only" secrets, but not quite ALL of them!

If Only......my house was like the Jetsons! Seriously I wish all I had to do was push a button and dinner was made, my hair and make up were done, dishes, laundry and dusting were cleaned all in like 2 minutes! Wouldn't it be nice to have a shower where you could push a button and your hair would be washed your teeth brushed and all without lifting a finger. The robot maid would be a nice touch too!

If Only.....there was a magic pill to lose weight. I know there are diet pills out there that claim to work but if you read the advertisement they all say with exercise. Well no shit! We all know exercise helps you to lose weight, but what if we don't want to exercise. What will that pill do for me then?!

If Only.....I had as good of fashion sense as Steve that I work with. Come on! The guy knows how to dress!

If Only..... I could read people's minds. Now this might not be good all the time, so I would want to be able to turn it on and off whenever I wanted, but I would love to know what people are thinking that they are too scared to say out loud.

If Only....it didn't cost so much money to have kids because I would love to have another one! Yes, I know that is crazy but I love my kids and I love watching them as they grown up and learn new things every day. They make me feel like a kid too and who doesn't want to feel young again?

If Only....cigarettes weren't bad for you. I know that I need to quit for my health and the sake of my kids but I love smoking, especially when I am having cocktails!

If Only.....I could take all the people I didn't like and put them in a town together far, far away!  Out of sight, out of mind!

If Only....I didn't have to have liquid courage to speak my mind sometimes. Even though it is not the best time to say what you have been holding in, sometimes it is the only time I have the guts to say it!

Finally....the biggest one!  If Only.... I could keep my little angels little forever and with me always. I know they have to grow up but I cant imagine how it must feel when your kids grown up and move out and start their own life.  Time goes by too fast!

Well that is all I am sharing for now!   Go ahead and share some of you If only secrets!

Monday felt like Funday!

So I usually dread Monday's but today wasn't too bad. I started off the day sleeping in. Who needs an alarm clock? Not this girl!  I will go to work whenever I darn well feel like it!  So once I decide to wake up and panic because I am almost an hour late, I jump in the car and race down route 3 passing every car in my way.  So is it a bad thing to speed up when you see that a bus is a few cars in front of you and you know that if you don't hurry up and pass this school bus now, you are going to be stuck stopping at every freaking bus stop?!?!  Well I did it and then turned my head to the side because I didn't want the kids on the bus to see me! LOL!  If it means anything, I did feel bad for speeding past the bus full of kids.

I was in a pretty good mood all day at work. I don't know why. It was the kind of happy mood that you have when it is Friday and you have some big plans for the weekend. I do have plans this weekend to go to Fast Eddies, but it is only Monday and there is still 4 more days to the week.  Hmmm, maybe I should take off Friday and shorten my week!

I played dress up with Livie when I got home and danced around her bedroom with princess clothes that I could only put on half my body and a crown that was digging into my head, but hey it made her happy.  Then I did the unbelievable......I went to the gym and worked out!  I have gained like 15 pounds over the summer and I am totally disgusted with my weight but it seems like every time I try to get motivated it only last for a day or too. Maybe it is a good sign that I started the week off on a good note! 

Weekend Wonders

So now that I got my first blog out of the way I guess I will just dive right into my second one.Now that my secret is out of the bag (that I am blogging) I am getting mixed reactions. For the most part my friends think that is is great that I have decided to start blogging and look forward to reading. My husband on the other hand thinks that it is silly and stupid and my mother in law jokingly told me not to share too many secrets. I guess the title of my blog might have misled some people. Let me clerify that I dont plan on spilling everyone's secrets on here. I just hope that this is a place I can share things about my life and be a little more open than what I can be on facebook.  Now on to the weekend recaps....

So, Saturday I cleaned around the house which feels like a hopeless task most of the time. I feel like I am busting my butt just to keep up withe the basics (laundry, dishes, picking stuff up and putting it away). I feel like I need a day off work with no kids and no husband to really have the oppertunity to deep clean my house the way it should be. Oh well, one can dream right?  Later Saturday afternoon we went and picked up one of Austin's friends and headed to Kenny's moms for dinner and visiting time. The appertizers, margaritas and dinners were fantastic. Debbie out did herself as usual. The kids ran around and played while some of us played cards and the rest sat around a caught up on happenings. The kids always look forward to seeing their uncle Scott. Since Scott can be like a big kid himself sometimes, the kids love playing and teasing with him. Leave it to Scott though to liven up the night with his teasing and somewhat inappropriate comments. One of the funniest that night was Scott asking his step sister if her "new short" haircut meant she was swinging the other way now!?!  OMG did he really just ask that!?  While a few of them (Scott included) played cards I sat back with Kristen thankful that we decided not to play. I think besides grandma Ahne, everyone at the table was nit picking or making fun of they way each other played.  To stressful for me!

Then today we stopped and visited the Blinds. Hopefully the next time Olivia and Brody will play a little nicer together!  Olivia sure did show her badness and sassiness while we were there and it continued the rest of the day while we visited papa and mimi. Glad tomorrow is back to daycare!  We unloaded more yard sale stuff and I asked myself again why I put myself through the hell that comes with yard sales!

Well that is about it for the weekend. It's time to watch me some True Blood and hopefully have some good dreams about Bill and Eric tonight!!!   Till next time.....

Excited but scared at the same time!

So, I have never done this before and I have NO idea how to organize a blog page but here goes nothing!
I am a gimini, so that might explain a lot about me. I am quiet and simple until you break through my shell and then whatch out because i will let loose when I feel comfortable around you!  I am a mother of two extremley beautiful children (Austin and Olivia). They have changed my life 100%. If it wasnt for them I would still be sitting at a different bar each night depending where the beer specials were! I am married to Kenny Schmidt for 6 years now and I can honestly tell you that married life it not easy! For those couples that go about their own business and do their seperate things, it might not seem as trying.  But my husband and I share everything which leads to quite a few arguments!  I always win if I stand my ground long enough!  I am very grateful for my close relationships with my family and the old and new friends I have. I never take friendships for granted.
I am looking forward to this blog and believe me ....things will get interesting!