Austin Dale Schmidt

On November 26, it will 8 years since the day I gave birth to the most incredible kid. Even though it has been eight years, I can remember everything perfectly from the time I found out i was pregnant to the time I gave birth to Austin.  So finding out I was pregnant was a bit of a shock. It definitely was not planned. Kenny and I weren't even living together much less married.  The day I took the test, I remember feeling like I was going to throw up and then pass out, not just because I was pregnant, but because I was in totally shock. I remember crying hysterically and all Kenny could tell me was that it was ok and we would make it through it together. He was always so supportive and optimistic. Never once did he ever seem scared or concerned.  He really helped me accept what was happening and eventually see the happy future that was ahead of us. We both told out mothers and that went over sort of well. My real concern was telling my dad and grandparents. I decided it would be best to tell my dad by myself and in a public place. That way he had to control his reaction somewhat. Surprisingly he took it really well and was actually excited about becoming a grandpa. Then it was time to tell my grandparents. Kenny came with me and we took a walk outside with my grandma and grandpa. I broke the news to them that I was pregnant and that Kenny had asked me to marry him. I remember my grandpa telling us congratulations and giving us his blessing and all my grandma said was, "look at those flowers over there. They sure are pretty!"  I was like. "grandma, did you hear anything I just said?"  She said "yeah" and then she went on to talk about her flowers.  LOL! 

So fast forward to November 26,2003 and I was lying in the hospital bed having mild contractions. Everyone was there. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends.  I was going to attempt to do it without an epidural and told the nurse no thanks when she came in and offered it.Within 2 minutes, I had two major contractions back to back and was barely able to catch my breath. I yelled for Kenny to run and get the nurse and tell her I changed my mind!  Finally at 12:34, I gave birth to this incredibly slimy. bloody looking baby boy!  Once he was cleaned up, the dr placed him in my arms and I lost my breath. I was in totally awe at the miracle I was holding. I couldn't even talk and then the tears began to flow. I had never cried such tears of joy in my whole life like I did that day. It is something I will remember for the rest of my life. This little boy was a gift to me and I believe saved my life. Austin gave me a whole new prospective on my life and a new purpose. I wanted to be better and give him everything I could. I new within minutes of holding him that I would lay down my life for him without hesitation. That day changed my life forever.

Eight years later and Austin still amazes me. For any of you that know Austin, you have an idea of what kind of kid he his and how loving he is to everyone. He has even stepped into the role of being a big brother without much effort and even though Austin and his sister bicker at times, he is always there to help her and take care of her when she needs him.

Happy Birthday Austin. You will always be my peanut and no matter how old you are, you will be my baby boy!

Bittersweet

I think I might have mentioned it a time or two, but work has been more of a bitch than usual for about 9 months now! For those that don't know, I am the trainer for my department at Scottrade brokerage firm. Anything that affects the Stock Market impacts my job.There has been three major projects this year along with a continuous flow of new reps that has kept me so busy, my head has been spinning since March!  Well finally on Monday the last and biggest project rolled. This was the biggest and most important project I have been responsible for and basically the biggest point of my career. I have felt like everything in my life has revolved around this. My moods have all been centered on what was going on at work and so has my personal well being. Working at a high level of stress every day for months takes a toll on you both physically and mentally. yesterday I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulder! the aftermath will still linger and I still have a lot to do, but the biggest weight has been lifted! Hallelujah!

On a lighter note, I heard the funniest and weirdest thing I think I have ever heard last week. This girl that sits across from me, who has only been in the department for about 2 months, starting speaking a different language while talking on the phone. Me and another co-worker we emailing each other trying to figure out what she was saying, but nothing even sounded familiar to another language.  Finally another co-worker asked her what language she was talking and she said it was a home-made gibberish!  WTF is that??!!  She said that it was a language that her mom made for her family and close friends when she was younger and they still speak it to each other. It is a whole separate language that only they know!  Is that not the craziest thing you have ever heard of? Some might say it is creative, but a different word comes to my mind... cult!  Seriously, who has the time to create their own language and then teach it to their children. Don't you think teaching them an actual language would me more beneficial?  Not to mention the fact that I didn't like not knowing what she was saying.  I have to say it made me a little nervous!

The last thing I have to talk about is something I need every one's opinion on. I am getting the kids pictures taken with Santa at Trish Cato's house on the 26th.  I thought it would be really cute to dress them in Christmas pjs for their pictures!  That way it looked like they had just woke up on Christmas morning.  Well Kenny said it was really stupid and I should dress them in their Christmas outfits.  I think he has no imagination. What are your opinions?

I'm back!

I know, I know. It's been forever, but I swear I have good reasons. Life has just been a little bit crazier than usual and I have been just trying to get everything done a day at a time just to keep up. When you get rushed and run downed, it's hard to spark any creativity, but I promised a friend or two that I would try and get back into the swing of it.  So my first blog is going to start by me asking you a question.....The Rock or Vin Diesel? That has been my question all day for anyone who would listen.  I have been a fan of both for awhile now. So, maybe their acting isn't that great, but they are easy eye candy and that makes up for the poor acting. I love the Rock in all of his Disney movies and loved him in Walking Tall. He does a good job playing a good guy who has a bad/rough edge to him. I have to say I never saw him when he was wrestling, but I can only imagine!  Then there is Vin Diesel!  All I can say is The Fast and the Furious! Holy crap! Hot! Hot! Hot! There is just something about the way he can look at someone and only say a few words for you to know he means what he says.  Well if you are wondering why I am asking this question, it is because I watched the Fast Five last night. If you don't know already, Vin Diesel returns in this movie as the car thief who is on the run with his sister and his partner. The Rock is the Federal agent that is tracking them.  They face off quite a few times and engage in an kick ass fight at one point during the movie.  Of course Vin Diesel gets the best of the Rock and I enjoyed watching the whole thing.  After seeing both of these men in the same movie, fighting against each other, I have made my decision.  To answer my own question....it would have to be Vin Diesel!  What about you?

My Blog

Well I have been so busy lately that I have not had any inspiration or time to blog. I guess you could say I have been in a slump. When I decided to start blogging, I did it because I thought it would be fun and I have always enjoyed writing. At that time I had all sorts of ideas (which I have already used up) and thought this would be a piece of cake.  Some days it isn't so easy and I have read that in order to have a successful blog, you should blog every day or every other day. Well I have been slacking!  Trying to come up with creative ideas is a little more difficult than you would think. My friend Trish said she loves reading my blogs and they are entertaining but she has no input for me. WTF! Come on Trish you are a mother of 3! You have to have good blog material! So I decided to google blogging ideas. I came into this blindly so maybe I should have done some homework first.  What do you blog about? Obviously you shouldn't blog when you have been drinking! I have learned that the hard way and will NOT repeat that mistake!  That blog has been deleted! Oops!  I love the idea of blogging because it gives me a place to express myself, share my insight and things going on in my life. I tend do be a little to sarcastic sometimes and a little too emotional but I think that makes for some interesting blogs.  I have decided that in order to solve my problem, I am opening my blog up to anyone who is interested.  Please share some of your ideas or insight and I would LOVE to bring them into my blog. I know a lot of you that read this have plenty to share and comment about so let me hear it!

Why is it?

Why is that I love Spring and fall the most? Spring reminds me of a new beginning. The fresh smell of grass, the first smells of BBQ. Flowers blooming and tress turning green again. Then there is fall which is the end of summer, but instead of being sad, it makes me feel warm and snugly. I love those coll nights when I can snuggle up under the covers and watch a good movie or read a book. I love making hot chocolate and eating chili or homemade soup. Even though the flowers are dying and the leaves are falling off the trees, I still love it. I look forward to Halloween and bonfires and seeing all the little kids dress up in their Halloween costumes. Sometimes I even like dressing up myself!

Why is it that crabby people don't realize that they are crabby?  Why is it that the people that complain the most don't realize they are the ones that are causing the problems? I think sometimes everyone needs to be reminded that their lives could be so much worse and all the little problems are nothing compared to what they could be facing. I'm sure there are many people who would give anything to have the minor problems that we gripe about every day instead of the life changing ones they face.

Why is it that reaching the end of a good book makes me sad?  I swear every time I find a good book or a good series, I read them so quick and then once I start getting close to the end I slow down because I don't want it to be over?  When I do finish I feel so sad because it's like I am losing friends.

Why is it that I have to wear my blue jeans about 3 times before they fit me the way I like?  I know that probably means they are too small but when I get them bigger then after one time, they are sagging and then I hate the way they fit.

Why is it that I woman are always expected to multi task and juggle work, taking care of the kids and cleaning the house. If you give a man more than one task to accomplish in a night, they tell you that you are being too pushy. I guess that makes us stronger and more efficient!

Well that's all for tonight! Sleep tight everyone!

Take charge or give up?

That is my question today?  At what point do you say "Screw it?" Hmmm...well that could apply to so many different things. Work, housework, losing weight, difficult friends, keeping up with the Jones's. I mean who can keep up with all these things and still be sane?  I know I always complain about how hectic my life is, but that is because I am trying to keep up with all of these things at the same time. I need to give up something. So let's weigh my options.  Work- well that is one of the things I am very good at. I might have a bachelors in Human Resource management, but I am very good and knowledgeable at what I do. For those of you who don't know, I work at Scottrade (brokerage firm). I am the department trainer so I am responsible for training new reps, updating all web material and updating our department manual. I have been very busy this year because there have been many new hires and several big projects rolling that I was in charge of training the reps and updating all our procedures. It has really helped me to grow as a trainer and I feel like I have accomplished a lot. I am proud of my accomplishments so that is one area I have to give 100%. Housework- well you can only let that go for so long before your house starts looking like a pig pen. With two young kids, that doesnt take too long.  I might threaten it every once in awhile but eventually I give in and clean every one's mess up (including Kenny's). Losing weight- that has already fallen to the side. I have gained 10 lbs over the summer! I am hoping once I finish this last project at work on 11/12 I can start focusing on running and working out on a daily basis. I mean I came back after having 2 kids and gaining 60+ with both, I am sure I can lose 10- 15 lbs once I put my mind to it!  Difficult friends- well I better not even go there! The more difficult they are, the more I want to do my own thing.  No room or time for drama :)  Keeping up with the Jones's - I try and do my best, but I know I cant do it all. Some people have more time and are better at some of this stuff than I am, but I feel like I do enough to make myself satisfied. If I tried to do it to that extreme I would be crazy and heavily medicated. Wow!   So I guess the outcome is that there is not much i can cut out of my schedule. I just need to suck it up and things will get better as time goes by.

Birthday Parties and Bullying

Sorry I haven't blogged all week! I have felt so tired and just pooped every night! You know how sometimes you look around and there is just so much that needs to be done and so much you want to do, you just give up without doing any of it?  Well that is how I have felt all week! This past weekend wiped me out. We were going the entire weekend and I feel like I am just now getting some energy back. I wanted to go workout tonight but instead I did some much needed house work. 
So Olivia's 3rd birthday party was this weekend and I have to say that I think it was her best party yet. I felt like everything went smoothly, I wasn't a nervous or rushed mess and Olivia had a great time! Even though it was a little bit on the chilly side, many of our friends and family still made it and I think everyone had a great time.  I have to say the decorations turned out great. Once again,  I fought with the table cloths because of the wind, but after applying hundreds of pieces of duck tape, the table covers stayed on top of the  tables! Thanks Nicole and Jill for the help! Olivia had her polka dot Mickey dress on and her Minnie mouse ears. All i can say is ....ADORABLE! She got so many presents and I still have not been able to find a place for all of them. Aunt Kristen made the cutest Mickey and Minnie birthday cakes. they were by far the hit of the party!  Kristen needs to advertise because I don't think anyone could have done them better! Once the party was over, Jill and I cleaned everything up and headed back to my house with the kids. Kenny went to Travis's 30th birthday and Jill and I took all of Olivia's presents out and set up her doll house, then we sat back and had a few drinks and threw some darts in the basement.  Nice ending to a wonderful day.

The next day I cleaned the house, fed the kids and then we were off to my dad's house for another birthday party for Olivia. It was especially special because my Grandma Guerdan was there and we haven't seen her in a few years. My grandma is a special kind of person. She raised 6 boys and one girl and she has the personality and attitude to show for it!  Even though she is 85, she still has her spunk!  She lives in an assisted living apartment out by St Charles and she cant get around very well any more. She needs help getting up and moving around the house and all the different medication she is on makes her shake. At one point I was trying to get Olivia to use the potty and my grandma said she would go after Olivia if Olivia would go first. I guess Olivia thought it was a deal because it made her use the potty. We were watching the slide show that Sarah Blind made for me for my dad's 60 birthday and my grandma kept insisting that some of the pictures were not of my dad but of my other uncles! She was being crazy and boy can she put up a fight. When she believes she is right there is no proving her wrong. She kept insisting that we were looking at pictures of my uncles and not my dad. Oh geeze grandma, you had me in tears because I was laughing so hard!  Then she told me something really sad. She said that two of the other women that stay in the assisted living apartments were picking on her. She said that the one woman called her names all the time and when they played bingo she would tell other people not to sit next to my grandma because she smelt like urine and stunk. My grandma was really upset and said that these women kept picking on her and she felt like she was going to have a nervous breakdown.    I was just blown away by this!  How in the world are grown woman acting like childish, mean bullies?  Isn't it enough that you have to get older and your body starts shutting down on you, but then you have to deal with being picked on and bullied. My grandma said these are not her "golden" years they are her "shit" years!  She told me how horrible it is to be alone in her apartment and not being able to do the things she used to do and so many of her friends that she had have now passed away. I felt so sad listening to her describe her life now. I felt the same anger at these women for picking on my grandma as I did when Austin gets picked on at school.   It's just not fair. Here is this woman that has raised 7 kids,been there for all of her grandkids and lived to be 85 years old just to be alone, falling apart and made fun of. Where is the justice? She deserves so much better.   I could have sat there all night and talked with her but it got late and the kids needed to get home and ready for bed. We took a few pictures of her and the kids and told her how much we loved her about 20 times and then left. My visit made me realize that no matter how busy I think I am or how hectic my life gets, I need to make time for my loved ones. I have vowed to make time to visit my grandma at least once a month no matter what. I am always so focused on the kids growing up and getting bigger that I have forgotten that everyone else around me is getting older too. I need to make time to spend with them while I still have the opportunity.  If there is someone that you love and you have been meaning to make time to spend with them, do it!